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Posted by on May 29, 2014 in Freedom, Land | 1 comment

Letting Go

Letting Go

It’s a rainy day around the cabin.  The animals and the grass don’t seem to mind, but it has otherwise stalled other outdoor activities around the farm.  That’s ok, it’s giving me a chance to get caught up on some indoor activities that are badly in need of attention.  So while I dry out a bit, I’ll hammer out a few words.

I spent yesterday at the old house packing and loading a box trailer with stuff that’s either coming to the cabin or going to storage to be sorted through, given away, sold, kept or trashed.  We’ve had the place up for sale since February and since the market hasn’t been very active we haven’t gotten in a hurry to get things out.  But, now that school is out for me and wrapping up for the Lady it’s time.  And as I spent yesterday going through stuff, I realized that this is most likely going to be one of the most painful parts.  Not necessarily the moving, though that’s going to be a hassle, but the letting go.  There’s a lot wrapped up in that house.  We built it 15 years ago and me being me, I built it exactly the way I wanted.  But, there is a time for everything and now is a time to let go.

Something you should know about me.  I’m sentimental about things.  I’ll hang onto something just because of a memory associated with it.  An old scrap of paper, a festival t-shirt, a tool that’s worn out.  (This drives the Lady nuts.)  I also can’t stand to get rid of something if it’s still useable.  Nice shirts/pants become work shirts/pants and I’ll wear work clothes until they’re threadbare and only recognizable as clothing in the academic sense.  Back when we were dating, the Lady threw away my favorite old t-shirt (because it was obviously worn out) and it almost ended our relationship.  It’s that bad.

I had to confront that part of me last night.

I finally brought my dresser with the remainder of my clothes to the cabin yesterday and in the season of change it was time to cull down my clothing further.  I had two reasons for this.  The first is I have more clothing than I can really store without cramming. (most of which is old work clothing)  The second is that since I’ve lost a lot of weight over the past year, a lot of clothes are simply too big for me now.

Which brings me to my sock drawer.  I’m not really sure how I aquired so many socks.  Really.  There were a bunch of those suckers in there.  Most perfectly good.  Perhaps my drawer is where the missing socks of others end up?

But I was faced with a reality that could have given Thoreau another chapter for Walden.  How many socks does one man need?  Dress socks, tube socks, ankle socks?  They all have their seasons, but all things in moderation.  It was apparent the tube socks were the dominant species and needed to be culled.  So whereas a normal human being would have simply tossed half of them, I had to go through and inspect each individual sock to ensure that the half that were tossed were, without doubt, the most worn out.

And then, my t-shirts.  Stained, tattered, too big and memories associated with all of them.  The days we spent together precious.  But, feeling like someone turning my back on a friend, they slowly formed a pile in the bedroom.  And there they sit, asking why I’ve abandoned them.  I just smile and say thank you, thank you for being with me for all these years.  But, now it’s time for you to find a new home.

I have a long road to travel to get to this simplicity bit.

In the meantime… live well… laugh often… love always.

Delibrio Animosus,

Billy

1 Comment

  1. Take the old tshirts and turn them into a quilt. I have been collecting my spouse’s old shirts that are holy (and holey) and will cut out the important sections to turn into a quilt that he can snuggle into on cold nights or when he’s got a cold and needs some comfort. The bits fit nicely into a small box until they can be sewn together.

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